Why British People Know Nothing About Music, or Another Moment in my Love/Hate Relationship with Lists

While browsing at the magazines in Barnes & Noble the other night, I found Q Magazine. They had a cover that I could not ignore. A list of the 100 Greatest Frontmen of all time? I love music, and I love lists, so let's see what they have to say.

When I was in high school there was talk about some British band that was reportedly going to be the next Beatles. This seemed far fetched, but I listened. I thought that all that hype had died almost as quickly as it had started when everyone realized that Oasis was just a British rock band with some good songs. They were nothing special, and they probably weren't bad. Apparently the editors at Q Magazine never got that memo. Although they don't have the complete list of 100 printed on their website, I was able to find the top 20 listed elsewhere on-line. Before reading this portion of the list, be prepared because you might throw up a little in your mouth:

1) Liam Gallagher [Oasis]
2) Bono [U2]
3) Freddie Mercury [Queen]
4) Damon Albarn [Blur; Gorillaz]
5) Chris Martin [Coldplay]
6) Matt Bellamy [Muse]
7) Jim Morrison [The Doors]
8 ) Bob Marley [The Wailers]
9) Paul McCartney [The Beatles]
10) John Lennon [The Beatles]
11) Robbie Williams [Take That]
12) Debbie Harry [Blondie]
13) Mick Jagger [The Rolling Stones]
14) Morrissey [The Smiths]
15) John Lydon [Sex Pistols]
16) James Brown [The Famous Flames]
17) Bruce Springsteen [E Street Band]
18) Robert Plant [Led Zeppelin]
19) Tom Meighan [Kasabian]
20) Joe Strummer [The Clash]

Really? Liam Gallagher is #1? The number of things that this list got wrong is unfathomable. They give way too much credit to popular British bands of the last 20 years. They give almost no credit to the pioneers of rock who set the standard that other front men try to live up to (no Elvis in the top 20?). They placed Robbie Williams ahead of Mick Jagger. I know that popular British bands don't always translate across the Atlantic, but there were way too many times going through the entire list where I looked at a name I didn't recognize, then read their blurb about who he or she was, and still had no idea who they were.

It appears that the only thing this list got right was putting Freddie Mercury at #3. But that doesn't really even count since they put Bono ahead of him. Now there is nothing wrong with Bono. You could make a strong case that he is one of the 10 best frontmen, but Freddie Mercury is at least equals with Bono if you are just measuring things like attitude and charisma and stage presence. But that is ignoring the fact that Freddie Mercury was one of the best (if not the best) rock vocalists ever! Bono is all attitude, charisma, and stage presence. There is nothing else there.

In my opinion, the top four is pretty easy:

#1 Elvis Presley: He is the original. He set the standard, and there hasn't been anyone who has been able to replace him at the top. It was all there: the voice, the hips, the charisma, the attitude, the jumpsuits.

#2 Freddie Mercury: Simple an amazing performer.

#3 Mick Jagger: Can't be rated any higher because he didn't have the vocal chops of Freddie or Elvis, but he made up for it by being simply riveting on stage (even at age 64 and counting).

#4 James Brown: Although you could say that he wasn't quite as good as Eddie Murphy's impersonation of him.

After them, my opinion is probably too slanted towards hard rock, and I'm not sure how to rate hip-hop MCs, but these artists have to be somewhere in the vicinity of the top 20: Jim Morrison, Roger Daltry, Roger Plant, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Ray Charles, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Bono, Axl Rose, and David Lee Roth. These frontmen all helped define or redefine what a frontman should look and sound like. If you honestly think that Liam Gallagher defined or redefined anything in rock n' roll other than underachieving on expectations (no matter how unfair they might have been), you are most likely wrong.